Thai Beauty Looking for Husband in our Town

1. Nanay: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo
kayang bilangin?
Anak: Mas bobo si tatay, nay, kasi narinig ko
minsan sabi, 'tama na inday,
hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko.'

Espadahanay gid kamo sini sa shower. Tan-
awa niyo bala kung ano ka laba sang espada
niya.

2. Ano ang pagkain?

Mister: Ano ang pagkain natin?
Misis: Nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Mister: Isang pirasong tuyo?
Ano pagpipilian ko?
Misis: Pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

3. Overseas Call

IDD Call from US:
Husband: Hon, musta ang tindahan?
Wife: Department store na!
Husband: Ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: Ang mga tri-sikad?
Wife: Taxi na!
Husband: Ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: Lima na!

4. Horoscope

Computer literacy program pinalalakas sa Mlang

MLANG, North Cotabato—AABOT sa 1382 na mga kababaihan ang nagtapos sa anim na buwang computer literacy program ng LGU Mlang simula nang buksan ito nitong taong 2008.

Maliban sa mga kababaihan, may mahigit 200 mga out of school youth at 20 mga anak ng 4P’s beneficiaries din ang nagtapos sa programa.

Ang Community E-Center ay isang computer school na pinapatakbo ng lokal na pamahalaan ng Mlang na naglalayong mabigyan ng libreng edukasyon hinggil sa computer literacy ang mga mahihirap na mga mamamayan nito.

Kabilang sa mga nagtapos sa nasabing kurso si Bae Queenie Hadjinoor, 20 years old, anak ng dating MILF commander ng Barangay Gaunan.

Sa edad na 11, naulila siya matapos na pumanaw ang kanyang mga magulang. Pero hindi ito naging hadlang sa kanya para itayguyod ang kanyang pag aaral.

Kuwento ni Bae Queenie, mag isa siyang umakyat sa munisipyo ng Mlang at humingi ng scholarship grant upang makapag aral siya ng computer course.

Matapos mag qualified sa scholarship grant, pinagbuti ni Bae Queenie ang kanyang pag aaral hangang sa maging bihasa siya sa pag gamit ng mga makabagong teknolohiya.

Ito din ang naging pasaporte niya para kuning assistant instructor ng Mlang Community E-Center matapos ang kanyang graduation.

Samantala, isang ina din ang nagkuwento nang kanyang karanasan nang sumailalim siya sa anim na buwang pag aaral sa e-center ng Mlang.

Politics in Cotabato Province; Celeste New NIA Head in Region 11

By MARCELO ORTIGOZA, JR.

In a baptismal last Sunday (June 14) at the St. Therese Catholic Church in M’lang , Cotabato Province  where I was one of the godfathers I bumped into former mayor , the Spanish descent, Lugie Cuerpo. We have some chats about the latest in politics of Pangasinan and North Cotabato.

Region 11 National Irrigation Administration's Manager John Celeste 
(Right) and Ramon Abogacia, regional chief of administration and
finance, posed with the author (Center) when he dropped
by recently at their office in Bolton St, Davao City.

 I asked Cuerpo who will be the probable candidate for hizzoner of my town since my friend Mayor Lito Pinol is on his last term.

“It could be Bobong Pinol (Lito’s younger brother)”.

 He said Lito will be challenging the province’s 3rd District congressman Ping-Ping Tejada while older brother Manny Pinol runs for either the governorship or vice governorship.

 “It’s 2016 presidential election and the party in Manila needs somebody to represent the presidential bet in the boondocks,” said by the former mayor in our vernacular Ilonggo of course and not in Shakespeare's language which he is known to be not so proficient.

 Earlier grapevine said that lawyer Vice Mayor Russel Abonodo is being groomed by supporters to run for the highest post of the local government of the town which derived its name from the Maguindanaoan word Tamlang or Bamboo.

So where’s the multi-millionaire former mayoral candidate Litoy Mercado in the radar screen of the town for 2016?

A source closed to the Mercados (his wife the beauteous Grace Arana still call me ‘pakas (cousin) as the town folks already know” whenever we meet) said that Litoy has no plan for the 2016 polls.

“Let’s leave to the prospective candidates the politics of the town where they could earn their living.  The Mercados have been discouraged anymore to run as a lot of folks have been shot, ambushed, mauled, and suffer physical pain because of partisanship in the last election where millions of pesos have circulated for the hoi-polloi. The Mercados are  enjoying their businesses and foreign trips abroad”.

I just heard that the Mercados, who owned hundreds of dump trucks and other equipments in their construction firm, have been given by the government with “Triple A” license – a prestigious badge among big time private contractors even here in Luzon.

***

When I was at Davao City last June 17, I dropped by at the office of Regional Director Mariano Alquiza of the Department of Public Works & Highway –Region 11 in Uyanguren Street of the city.

“Sir, mas maganda at malaki itong office ninyo kaysa sa San Fernando City (La Union),” I posed to Alquiza who is known for his meticulousness on details.

“Siempri malaki ito kasi Davao ito,” a priest, who was a caller like me in his office, quipped.

I asked Alquiza to compare DPWH Region 1, where he spent more than two years as top honcho, and his present post in Davao “sino sir ang mas mataas ang appropriation sa budget?” I posed.

Istoryahanay sang taga-M'lang sa Corruption PART - 1

By TOTO MARCELO ORTIGOZA

As I was traversing the other day the national highway I saw a new bridge with a huge signage that says “This is where your taxes go”.
I told a friend inside my car that the statement was wanting: “Dapat it says: “60 percent of your taxes go in funding this bridge while the 20 percent was pocketed by your congressman through S.O.P (cut) while the other 20 percent has been divided by the district engineer (DE) of the DPWH, his engineers who were commissioned to check the quality of the obviously defective bridge, mayor and barangay chairman in the venue of the bridge, and the in-house official of the Commission on Audit at the DPWH”.

Ang duwa diri sa Right nag Magna Cumlaude sa SBC.

***
 A private contractor in the province whines among friends how corrupt was a certain DE. Aside from the SOP this DE asks, he/she did not give a qualm if the contractor gave the DE a check that runs to hundreds of thousands as commission.
Hoy DE na kurakot, baka ma paper trail ka someday magaya mo sila Napoles na nasa kulungan na.
This DE, by the way, is not only working with the DPWH, he/she has a construction firm that siphoned many of the contracts in the district at the expense of other private contractors.

• Maybelle de los Santos Name names, and blow your whistle harder and louder. Don't mince....be braver! To hell with libel charges. Mwah! You make sense!

  1 hr · Like
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  Mortz Marcelo Ortigoza Sigi Maybelle de los Santos, I'll name names. Mga apat ini ka libel suits tag P10,000 piyansa kag tag P15,000 acceptance fee sa abogado. Pag nata-maan ako dito sa apat, pa-sponsor ako sa imo sang isa lang ka libel he he

  1 hr · Like · 1
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  Lab Anque Ha, ha, ha, that is the way it goes. There was some thing I read about a bridge in M'lang which cost about 13 million. Now they are concerned the river bank is eroding and will destroy it. For me that bridge is too much. I wonder why it cost too much. If I am not mistaken only tricycles can pass through it.

  1 hr · Unlike · 1
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  Mortz Marcelo Ortigoza Lab Anque 

  1 hr · LikeLab Anque aside from the 40% cut these son of guns pocketed, transaction with government projects run on the following: Engineering and Administrative Overhead Expenses, 3.5%; Value Added Tax, 12%; Contractor’s Profit (CP), 10%; Overhead Contingency (OC), 10% . These are the reasons government projects become more expensive because of these sanctioned deductions versus projects donated by private individuals like school houses to the government kasi wala ng tax, etc.
• 

  

  Ang tatlo diri sa Right mga ex Born Again nga nag backslide sa kanamit
  sang makaka-libutan nga bisyo. 

  Lab Anque Kung minsan daw kuhanan ng picture na work is in progress then they want more funding because the original funds are depleted. The project becomes a failure. I think we need politicians who will make a change for the better. Where are they though?

  1 hr · Like
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  Maybelle de los Santos There's good news for you. I was with a group of prosecutors two weeks ago, and they were talking about the latest proposal of amending the Penal Code. They are now doing away with estafas, libels and oral defamations in the new law. The prospect makes me grin with hope. At last, I can start my media career without fear of harassment or incarceration.