Kailangan din ang mag sinungaling

By Anonymous

Ito nga ba ang alamat kung bakit nagsi-sinungaling ang mga lalaki?

Karpintero itong si Joel at isang araw eh gumagawa siya ng isang bahay sa tabi ng ilog.
Sa lakas ng pagma-martilyo niya eh nalaglag ang martilyo niya sa ilog.

Umiyak siya at lumitaw yung guardian angel niya,
"tutulungan kita, Joel"
...sabay lundag sa ilog.

Lumabas ito na me hawak na gold hammer,
"ito ba ang martilyo mo?"...
"hindi po"...
Lundag uli ang anghel at lumitaw na me silver hammer,
"ito ba?"...
"hindi po"...

Lundag uli sa ilog ang anghel at lumitaw na me ordinary hammer,
"ito ba?"..."
Opo" ...natuwa ang anghel.
"Dahil honest ka, bukod sa martilyo mo, sa'yo na rin ang gold and silver hammer"...

Makaraan ang ilang araw, naglalakad si Joel sa ilog at kasama ang misis niya.
Eh sa katangahan, nalaglag si misis sa ilog...iyak si Joel.

Litaw si guardian angel, "tutulungan kita"...

sabay lundag sa ilog at ng lumitaw eh kasama si Sam Pinto,
"ito ba ang misis mo?"
...sagot si Joel,
"OPO!"

...nagalit si anghel,
"sinungaling ka. Akala ko pa naman mabait ka Joel"...

Nag- reason-out si Joel,

"Sorry po, guardian angel...kasi kapag sinabi kong 'Hindi', eh lulundag ka uli sa tubig at pag-litaw mo eh kasama mo si Megan Fox. At pag sinabi ko uli na hindi siya ang asawa ko, eh lulundag ka uli at ang tunay na misis ko na ang kasama mo.

At dahil sa kabaitan ko, eh ibibigay mo din sa akin sina Sam Pinto at Megan Fox!

Mahirap lang po ako at hindi ko kaya ang me tatlong asawa, kaya 'Yes' na lang ang
sinagot ko nung una."

                                        MORAL OF THE STORY:

Kaya lang naman nagsi-sinungaling ang mga lalaki eh for a good and noble reason.

Duterte-Cayetano pushes for Mindanao railway system to ensure efficient food supply

If they get elected in higher office next year, the 2016 electoral tandem of Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte and Senate Majority Leader Alan Peter Cayetano will push for the completion of the Mindanao Railway System, which, if constructed, would connect all food producing provinces in the region and ensure a more efficient and low-cost transport of food commodities throughout the country.

This is what the senator said during a consultative meeting with lacatan banana farmers based in Kidapawan City. Cayetano was in the city on Wednesday to attend a Federalism Forum organized by Hugpong Pederal, a movement that is backing Mayor Duterte’s proposal for a federal form of government in the Philippines.

The farmers complained that their products are being damaged due to the lack of a proper transport and shipping system in the region.

Cayetano said that establishing a railway system in Mindanao will particularly make it easier for farmers to transfer food commodities from agricultural areas like North Cotabato to the ports of Davao, General Santos, and Cagayan de Oro. Landlocked agricultural areas with no access to ports or cargo-loading airports will greatly benefit from the project, he added.

The vice-presidental hopeful assured that the 200-kilometer railway system will be among the priorities of a Duterte-Cayetano government, stressing that the P75-billion project will ensure low-cost food supply not only for Mindanaoans, but for the entire country as well.

Cayetano stressed that despite the strategic importance of a Mindanao Railway System, the national government continued to exclude it from its development plan. 

My interview with Grace Poe on EDCA and her Citizenship

I asked this afternoon Philippine presidential front runner  and  Senator Mary Grace Poe on whether she will vote for a military treaty’s Enhanced Defense Cooperation Agreement between the Philippines and the United States in case the Supreme Court strikes it out as unconstitutional since it fails to have the Senate’s concurrence. Ortigoza inquired too Poe if her re-acquisition of her Philippine Citizenship through Citizenship Retention and Re-acquisition Act of 2003  (Republic Act 9225) is the all encompassing act that shroud her being a natural citizenship and makes her qualified to run as presidential candidate of the Philippines as required by the Constitution. Excerpts:

Interviewer Ortigoza poses with Senator Grace Poe in one of the latter
visits at San Carlos City, the city, of her late father actor Fernando
Poe, Jr.

MORTZ C. ORTIGOZA (MCO): Sa Resolution po ng Senado karamihan gusto nila ang Senado ratify the EDCA (Enhanced Defense Cooperation Agreement).

GRACE POE (GP): (Pause)

MCO: Iyong executive military agreement between the United States and the Philippine Government sa Resolution ni Senator (Merriam) Santiago that there could be no EDCA without the concurrence of the Senate.

GP: Opo

MCO: Maam, anytime from now ang Supreme Court kasi magde-decision sa Constitutionality ng EDCA.

GP: Opo

MCO: In case i-sustain ng Supreme Court ang petition (by Harry Roque, Former Senators Rene Saguisag and Wigberto Tanada, et al) na unconstitutional the EDCA, pag nilagay sa Senado, are you in favour for EDCA (as we face the incessant Chinese incursion in our territories)?

GP: Para sa amin po kasi kailangan ang Senado na magkaroon ng pagkakataon na i-review ito. Kasama po ito sa trabaho ng Senado - responsibilidad. Ngayon, at ang Senado  rin ang magde-determine kung kailangan talaga ito. O bago itong kasundu-an o ito ba ang karagdagan lang sa dati.

Sa tanung  ninyo, importante na magkaroon ng mga maitutulong sa ating siguridad. Pero kailangan natin rebyuhin iyong proposal bago magbigay ng commitment dito. Kaya nga hinihingi natin iyong sa Senado.

MCO: Former U.E Dean Amado Valdez discussed about three talking points about your citizenship in 2006, 2010, and 2011 when he filed recently at the Comelec for your disqualification in the presidential race.

2006 July was  your availing the Citizenship Retention and Re-acquisition Act of 2003  (Republic Act 9225), 2010 October 21 was when you renounced your American citizenship when you took an oath in a Philippine government’s office, 2011 when you re-affirmed the renunciation before a vice consul at the United States embassy in Manila.

Ano ba meron doon sa 2006 na para iyon ang all encompassing arguments ng part ninyo?

Mga imported nasa loob ng Kabaong ni Inay

Reprinted from an Anonymous Author

Registered nurse si Bebeng sa L.A. Kasama niya ang kanyang ina na nagpagamot doon. Namatay ang ina nito. Dahil sa kamahalan ng pamasahe pabalik sa Pilipinas, nagtipid si Bebeng. Pinauwi na lang niya ang kabaong ng kanyang ina na mag-isa.

Pagdating ng kabaong, napansin ng mga kapamilya niya na nakadikit ang mukha ng ina sa salamin ng ataul. Nagkomento tuloy ang isang anak, "Ay, naku! Tingnan mo 'yan... hindi sila marunong mag-ayos ng bangkay sa Amerika! Nakudrado tuloy ang mukha ng inay."

Upang ayusin ang itsura ng bangkay, binuksan ang kabaong. Aba ! May sulat na naka-staple sa dibdib ng ina. Kinuha nila ito at binasa. Ang nilalaman ng liham na mula kay Bebeng:

Mahal kong tatay at mga kapatid:

Pasensya na kayo at hindi ko nasamahan ang nanay sa pag-uwi riyan sa Pilipinas dahil napakamahal ng pamasahe. "Ang gastos ko pa lang sa kanya ay mahigit $10,000 na. Ayoko nang isipin pa ang eksaktong halaga. Anyway, ipinadala ko kasama ni nanay ang mga sumusunod...

Nasa likod ni nanay ang dalawampu't apat na karnenorte at isang dosenang spam. Ang adidas na suot ni nanay ay para kay tatay. Ang limang pares ng de-goma ay nasa loob ng dalawang asul na Jansport na backpack na inuunan ni nanay. Tig-iisa kayo.

Ang iba't-ibang klase ng tsokolate at candy ay nasa puwetan ni nanay. Para sa mga bata ito. Bahala na kayong magparte-parte. Sana'y hindi natunaw. Ang pokemon stuffed toy na yapos-yapos ni nanay ay para sa bunso ni ate. Gift ko sa first birthday ng bata. Ang itim na Esprit bag ay para kay Nene.

Ate, nasa loob ng bag ang pictures ni inay, japanese version ng pokemon trading cards at stickers. "Suot ni nanay ang tatlong Ralph Lauren, apat na Gap at dalawang Old Navy t-shirts. Ang isa ay para kay Kuya at tig-iisa ang mga pamangkin ko. Maisusuot ninyo ang mga iyan sa fiesta.

Suot din ni inay ang anim na panty hose at tatlong warmer para sa mga dalaga kong pamangkin. Isuot nyo sa party. May isang dosenang NBA caps sa may paanan ni nanay. Para sa inyo, itay, kuya, dikong, Tiyo Romy. Bigyan nyo na rin ng tig-isa 'yung mga pamangkin ko at 'yong isa ay kay Pareng Tulume.

Ang tigdadalawang pares ng Nike wristband at knee caps na suot-suot din ni nanay ay para sa mga anak mo, diko, na nagbabasketball. Tigdadalawang ream ng Marlboro lights at Winston red ang nasa pagitan ng mga hita ni nanay.

Apat na jar ng Skippy Peanut Butter, dalawang dishwashing liquid, isang Kiwi glass cleaner at tig-aanim na Colgate at Aqua Fresh ang nakasiksik sa kilikili ni nanay. Hati-hati na kayo, huwag mag-aagawan.

Q & A: Vice Prexy Bet Ferdinand R. Marcos, Jr.

Political columnist Mortz Ortigoza interviewed recently vice presidential candidate and Senator Ferdinand Marcos, Jr on foreign direct investment (FDI), nuclear power plants in the Philippines, Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, and Presidential bet and tandem Senator Merriam Santiago and her keeping off to the public her Stage -4 lung cancer’s medical report. Excerpts of the interviews mostly done in Filipino:

COJUANGCO MEETS MARCOS. From left: Former Congressman Mark Cojuangco in a tete-a-tete with Vice Presidential Candidate and Senator Bong Bong Marcos. At extreme right is Calasiao Mayor Mark Roy Macanlalay who runs as vice gubernatorial bet of Cojuangco who runs for the governorship of the vote rich province's Pangasinan. Marcos graces the 12th Congress of the Barangay Health Workers in the 5th Congressional District of Pangasinan.

  

MORTZ: Last year ang Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) invested  in Vietnam, $9.2 billion, Indonesia $22,580 billion, Mainland China $128.5 billion sa Pilipinas kulelat ang FDI, $6.201 billion lang. Sabi nila ayaw pumunta ng investors dito kasi dahil sa 60-40% business sharing sa business that favoured the Filipino sa foreigner. Are you amenable for the amendment of the 60-40% provision sa Constitution?
MARCOS: Unang una I don’t think that’s the problem kasi ang sinasabi sa atin ng ating mga kaibigan na gusto nila mag invest dito. Ang problema ay iyong kuryente masyadong mahal, masyadong unreliable. Pangalawa, iyong ating batas ang pabago-bago hinde sila stable sa financial market.  Iyong mga financial institution natin naman iba, nagbabago ang kanilang polisiya bawat pagpapalit ng bawat pangulo kaya kailangan iyan ang mga tinitingnan natin. Kaya bukod pa roon ang infrastructure natin kulang. Mahirap sa investors na pumunta sa Pilipinas. Pasyalan nila ang airport natin ay congested. Ang mga Puerto natin congested.
Iyong nangyayari nga sa ibang negosyante kung maalaala niyo iyong tatlong buwan ang delay mapilitan silang magbabayad ng malaking multa dahil mag aantay nga ng ilang buwan bago makapag unload ang mga barko. Itong mga bagay bagay na ito ay dapat siguro tingnan kahit na palitan mo ang Constitution.
MORTZ: Sabi ninyo kuryente mahal. Nuclear power plant mura, ang coal (power plant) madumi, are you amenable for nuclear power plant to help buttress our power deficit?
MARCOS: I am amenable to any solution that is environmentally sound. Pinakamalaking driver ng industrialized and developed (country) are the production of plants. So ang kailangan, kung basta magpakita safe, halimbawa iyong nuclear hangang ngayon marami pa ang nagpapatayo ng nuclear sa France, sa Europe, sa U.S at Italy kailangan nila iyong kuryente. Iyong coal gumaganda na dahil, sinabi dating madumi, totoo naman pero nagbago na ang tecnolohiya parang mas mura na rin ang coal fired na planta. Iyan ang dapat nating pag aralan para naman unang una mga support ng power supply. Pangalawa, ang maibaba natin ang presyo.


MORTZ: Sir, curious lang ako. Kasi noong bago kayo mag file ng CoC (Certificate of Candidacy) you went to Davao (City) and talked with Duterte . Peter Cayetano went there, too. Sabi ng iba, ideal daw Duterte-Marcos kasi Ilocos- Davao City, Samar and Leyte – Davao City ang combination.
Bakit hindi nangyari iyong ganoong tandem?
MARCOS: Bakit mo itatanung sa akin? Ha, ha, ha. Tanung mo kay Mayor Digong (Crowd around laughed). May bago na namang balita! Bago, mag substitute siya!
(Crowd around chuckled).
Nahilo na ako. Pare-pareho tayong nag aabang kung ano ang susunod na gagawin.
MORTZ: Suspense o nang gu-good time?
MARCOS: Ha, ha, ha ang buong Pilipinas nag aantay doon.
MORTZ: Sir, public office is a public trust. Si Merriam (Senator) tumatakbo siyang president pero ayaw naman niyang ilabas ang medical record niya na patay na ang Stage 4 lung cancer niya. Dapat government official siya transparent dapat siya. Pero ayaw niyang ilabas.
MARCOS: Wala naman sa requirements (in the constitution) na maglabas ng medical record.
MORTZ: Pero for the sake of transparency because she is a public official.

Historical Photo versus Historical Puta

By PROCOPIO MATULIS

HISTORICAL PHOTO VS HISTORICAL PUTA. ‘I shook up the world!!!’ Cassius Clay (later named Muhammad Ali) famously screamed after knocking out a world heavy weight champ and KO artist Sonny Liston 51 years from now.
Half a century from the night a brash loquacious kid name Clay beat a terrifying brute of a man for the world heavyweight title and in so doing challenged America to confront its own dark reality

SCREAMED, TOO. PH wannabe boxing commentator Mortz Baby did an Ali famous
scream after an effeminate nota hungry Aswang wanna eat him.

Mortz Baby who is known as Mortz Ortigoza, a Flip, er, a Filipino, was probably the only Filipino boxing scribe and radio commentator who boldly predicted, against the consternation of his compatriots who thought he was an obnoxious "puta (bitch)", that Floyd Mayweather would defeat Filipino boxing icon Manny Pacquiao in their mega fight last  May 2014 that saw many fans and bettors walking without their shirts, cursing, and suing Pacquiao for the damage and swindling he had done to them in the sin city called Las Vegas, USA.
Ortigoza did not only predict in his TV and radio interviews from stations all over the Philippines two weeks before the tussle but challenged everybody to bet against him and Mayweather.
Since he could not find reputable bettors in the educated sectors who can "Walk the Talk" but just content themselves to "Talk the Walk" that Pacquiao would kick the ass of Mayweather, Mortz look for those people, the formidable bobotantes (idiotic voters) with the I.Q level of Pacquiao for a wager.
 He criss crossed the "bagsakan (entrepot)" market of Urdaneta City and challenged those Igorot vegetable suppliers and bet against those bangus (milk fish) whole sellers at the wet market of Dagupan City for a six - figure break or make bet.
Mortz, unknown to her wife Miles, brought all the family savings and tuition fees of their kids just to bet for Mayweather that he confidently predicted would school Pacquiao, the senatorial wannabe, in the over hyped fight.
"More than one year after those Fraud, er, Fight of the Century, those Igorots and Bangus merchants have not recovered  until now with their seed monies thanks to their gullibility and ignorance where they believed that the Filipino Superman except Superman's handsome face would be invincible against the scientific and slick American boxing phenomenon," he said shaking his head.
But Mortz baby has another challenged for everybody for a wager. Pacquiao, because of the bobotantes who root for Alma Moreno, Bong Revilla, and Lito Lapid in public office, will win the senatorial race in 2016 in spite of his pathetic four attendance as congressman in the  last year's 16th Congress and his failure, on the rumours I heard, to identify John and Jane Does during his rare congressional debate whether both are siblings or cousins, or just a police character, or whether he would help defend a person sued with Anti-Fencing Law in spite the absence of a destroyed fence.

Q & A: Marcos on the Spratly, Vice Presidency

Q & A: Philippine Senator Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos, Jr. talks about the Philippines and Chinese claim on the islets and reefs in the West Philippines Sea and his probable run for the vice presidency with political columnist Mortz C. Ortigoza. Excerpts:

Senator Bong Bong Marcos (C) poses for posterity with
Veteran Scribe Ruben Rivera and Columnist Mortz
Ortigoza  (extreme right).

MORTZ: Sir, lately I was watching the Spratly and Scarborough Islets (in the West Philippines Sea) brouhahas there were 16 Pangasinan fishermen who wrote a complaint to the United Nations, then I saw your statement there that you were for the Bilateral Agreement with the Chinese.....
SENATOR BONGBONG MARCOS: No, no, no. I am for the Bilateral Talks with the Chinese..
MORTZ: Ya, Bilateral Talks with the Chinese...
MARCOS: Because, because for the first time in the entire situation the Chinese has agreed to talk in the framework of international law or the UNCLOS (United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea) which is something that they never done before. Tapos noong nakaraan they talked about the 9 Dash Lines. Now they are willing to talk about under UN. That’s new. Hindi rin ni-rerecognized ng ating DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs) hindi ata nalalaman kung gaano kalaking pagbabago ito. So we continued to do nothing except making our case in the jurisdiction ng UN.
MORTZ: The perception in the Philippines is the Chinese could not be trusted. One of the examples there is the Panatag Shoal’s hullabaloo where the BRP Pampanga left (in 2012 after it replaced the country’s frigate BRP Gregorio Del Pilar) with the Chinese as agreed. They, the Chinese ships, did not leave the place that’s why Scarborough Shoal or Panatag Shoal now is controlled by the Chinese.

MARCOS: Will that as it may, we should talk with the Chinese or we should be with.. with... just doing nothing will not ignore the situation. We have to do something and I think the Chinese may give even as an opening and so we should take it. It’s an opportunity. Let’s start, I think, there.
In a way to begin this discussion if napaguusapan lang natin kung papaano ang policy ng Chinese at ng Philippines sa fishermen bago nagkagulo ng ganito. Iyong mangingisda ng China at saka ng Pilippines laging magkasama iyan e. They fish together at pagkatapos nilang mag fishing they eat together. Nagkikita kita sila. Walang problem, ngayon nagkaka problema. Ngayon, di ba natin ibalik doon sa dating situation. Uumpisahan natin fishermen para naman ang mga tao natin hindi naman nahihirapan.  So let’s start from this that’s still a small step. Let’s keep going we have to start. I’m not saying, if we met with the Chinese under the UNCLOS na tapos lahat ng problema natin. I’m not saying but we have to do something. This situation cannot be allowed to continue.