FOR SALE: Mayor, Vice Mayor, Dads

BY TOTO MARCELO ORTIGOZA

 The other day I was with a political operator where we dropped by at the session hall of a first class town in Pangasinan. We found the vice mayor there exchanging pleasantries with reelected councilors who are scions of multi-millionaire families in the town.
Some of them spent millions of pesos through vote buying and dole outs just to win their reelection bid in an office that gives them roughly P30, 000 a month salary only.
 “Please tell your father that you run for the PCL (Philippine Councilors League-Pangasinan Chapter) so that you can be a member of the provincial board,” the operator told a young councilor whose father is a big time government contractor.
  “Magkano ang bilihan ng boto para manalo manong (how much we are going to spend to buy votes to win the PCL, big brother)”?
My operator friend told him and his curious colleague in the august chamber that the province has 44 towns.
 He explained that the trade dictates that he has to dine and wine the mayor, vice mayor, and eight dads of the town in a plush restaurant or hotel to ingratiate with them before he shells out the following amount: Mayor, P20, 000; Vice Mayor, P15, 000, Each of the eight councilors, P10,000 or a total of P5,720,000. “Lalaki pa iyan pag iyong rival mo offers the same amount (Your P6 million spikes if your rival for the PCL offers the same amount),” the operator explained.
Now dear readers you wonder probably what the heck happens to a solon spending millions of pesos for a position that gives only a P40,000 monthly salary in his three years stint at the Sangguniang Panlalawigan (provincial board)?
 My answer: Prestige man, that stupid prestige!
 ***

After he was proclaimed as the winning congressman in the first district of Pangasinan, reelectionist Rep. Jesus “Boying” Celeste was asked at the Capitol Compound in Lingayen, Pangasinan what he and his brother mayor –elect Art Celeste will do to the “dugyot (Pangasinan word for filthy) ” Hundred Islands (H.I) in Alaminos City. “Kung dugyot iyan ngayon, lilinisan natin!” he declared.
 My two cents worth of advice to the solon is privatized or leased to investors the islets there.
 With each of them occupying a piece of the scenic spots, they would be improving them that eventually become a draw for  more tourists to go there just like what happened in Boracay and in Ilocos Norte.
 Of course they should be privy about the law that protects the marine life there like the giant clams and corrals.
 The decision of outgoing Mayor Nani Braganza to take the yeoman’s job in running the H.I from his city’s limited budget has been the reason the spot becomes a “kulelat (laggard)” compared to other tourist destinations in the country.
With the deep pocketed private investors propping up to make the island as major players in the national tourism industry, multipliers effects would follow suit not only to the benefits of Alaminos City but the province of Pangasinan.
 For starters, the Celestes should collaborate with Governor Amado T. Espino, a stickler of what is spic and span, who was the brain behind the turn-around of the beach and the free sheds at the Capitol ground that make them a magnet for tourists.
Aside from the anarchic arrangement of the Lucap Wharf in Alaminos City, critics said it stinks as islets there have no toilets. As what the Latin words say “Res Ipsa loquitour (the thing speak for itself). You can read my selected columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com and articles at Pangasinan News Aro. You can send comments too at totomortz@yahoo.com).

Isahanon nga Reprisentante sang M'lang sa Nat'l PRISAA- Pangasinan

Runner Ramil Calamba is the lone representative of Mlang town to 

the national Private Schools Athletic Association (PRISAA) in Pangasinan

ASCENDING ON THE STAIRS OF THE PROVINCIAL CAPITOL. Runner Ramil Calamba
 (Extreme Left) lone representative ofMlang town to the national Private
 Schools Athletic Association (PRISAA) 
in Pangasinan

At the rubberized and world class track and field of Narciso Ramos
Sports Center in  Lingayen

TAGA-ATON INI NGA CONGRESSMAN. Mortz Celeste Ortigoza (L) poses with  his cousin
Pangasinan Congressman Boying Celeste. He is the Bangus Magnate of Pangasinan
who sells a significant truckloads of  milkfish in Manila in a regular basis.

Mas damo ang tawo sang Palarong Pambansa last year

The pathetically equipped  soccer team from M'lang in the 2012 Palarong Pambansa. 

Some of its players' game shoes were wrapped with packaging tape to stop them from disintegrating.

Ramil is a poorly equipped and poorly prepared runner from M'lang. He told me
the school and the town could not even provide him with running shoes
when he road ran from Mlang to Matalam thrice a week. Kulang na naman mga
 ginikanan ang supporta just like his counterparts in the Palarong Pambansa. 
Ramil dilemma is reminiscent of those blasted soccer shoes clad players
 from Mlang National High School  who were beaten to pulp by soccer warriors
from other provinces.

Ramil Calamba posed with Mortz at the Provincial Capitol of
 Pangasinan in Lingayen.

Tanga nga Pulitiko

TANGANG PULITIKO

Hearing kahapon ng provincial board about investors who want to plant Bamboo where local folks get jobs on the plywood, tiles, etc that would come from it.
Board Member to Investor: Ano ang Bamboo, tree ba?
I told two old media men: Anak ng baka, lesson noong Grade 2 natin iyan, ah. Kayong dalawa ito ang tanong ko: Ano ang Banana, plant or tree? Media Man-1 said: Plant !
Media Man- 2 disagreed angrily:" Hindi, it's Tree ! Pakingan mo iyong song na "Yellow Bird flying on Banana Tree!"
I asked the same question to another Board Member if Banana is a Plant or a Tree, he told me: Its a Fruit! Magulo na I told myself thus I pulled the passing Head of the DENR,an old man, and asked him the same question: He told me, banana is not a tree, plant, fruit, its a Palm!
"Dios ko, ano ang kasalanan ko sa inyo? Bakit niyo ako ginaganito?," I wept at a corner.

(Tagalog ta anay) Noong sinabi ng old man from DENR na Banana is a Palm, sabi ni Atong na media: Di ba iyong Palm, iyong Mariang Palad?". I cried again

***

PAGONG 

 Isang Pamilya ang magbabakasyon pero Lumubog Ang barKo na sinakyan nila.
 NANAY: kumapit kaung lahat sakin wag kaung bibitaw (Bumitaw ang anak nitong KUBA (BOGTOT in Ilonggo) sa kanya at nahiwalay ito.Pero sa kinasawiang palad Ito lng ang natira sa pamilya nya dahil kinain lahat sila ng pating)
 KUBA:Pating Kainin mo na rin ako wala nang kwenta itong buhay ko dahil kinain mo nang lahat ng kapamilya ko! Wla na riNg saysay ang buhay ko.
 PATING: WAG MO KONG LIN-LANGIN
KUBA:Bakit?
PATING: Pagong Ka !

 ***

PRIMA FACIE

 Here's my real experienced in a press conference sa Manila where the city treasurer, accountant, cashier were sued by the mayor of malversation of funds and anti-graft case because they pocketed millions of pesos.
 (Definition of terms so you can appreciate my anecdote:
PRIMA FACIE (spell "Patsi") :ay isang ekspresyong Latin na nangangahulugang "sa unang enkuwentro" o "sa unang pagtingin or at first blush"
MAYOR: Si Treasurer ay kinasuhan ko na dahil mi Prima Facie, si Accountant at si Cashier ay kinasuhan na rin dahil mi Prima Facie.
 RADIO ANNOUNCER FROM DAVAO (with husky voice): Anong klase kayong mayor! Kinasuhan niyo na nga iyong tatlo, pero bakit si Prima Facie hindi niyo kinasuhan? Sobrang lakas naman niya sa inyo.

 ***

Two New Words for Today: 

1.BAYOTIFUL - Having qualities of a woman who looks like gay, homos, faggot. They called it in Visayas and Mindanao as "bayot" or lalaki nga adunay kaibog nga hilawasnon sa isigkalalaki; bakla; babay. (Bayotiful is shared to me by FMLSM or Federasyon ng mga Mang-aagaw ng Lakas sa M'lang).

2. PUTAGENIC Pangit sa Picture sa Face Book, Pangit lalo sa Personal pag naka-Eyeball mo na.

Inas' Guy Interviews Enrile, Villar, and Legarda

Author interviews Senator Loren Legarda (R)

Author poses with Rep. Jack Enrile (L)

Author asks questions to Senatorial bet Cynthia Villar

AUTHOR IS FROM INAS, M'LANG

The past weeks senatorial candidates like Jack Enrile, Cynthia Villar, and Loren Legarda have barnstormed my gargantuan province before they do their hustings in the big provinces of Visayas and Mindanao. It was the politically correct thing to do. Pangasinan is part of the strategic Lingayen – Lucena Corridor where a big slice of votes for a senatorial victory would come from this area that composed my vote-rich province, Region 3, National Capital Region and Region 4A, that complement 38 percent to 40 percent of the national total number of votes.

 JACK ENRILE

 Before the January 17-19, 2013 poll by the Social Weather Station (with technically 1,200 respondents and three (3) percent margin of errors) appeared recently on broadsheet Business Week on January 28, 2013, I asked senatorial bet Enrile (Numbers 8-9 in the January SWS''s poll) what was his take about the brushes of his father Senate President Juan Ponce with fellow senators on issues like Sin Taxes and Reproductive Health Bills (Note: The January 17-19 survey was commissioned before the acrimonious ugly word war in the Senate between the elder Enrile and Senator Allan Peter Cayetano) and his numbers 2-6 and 4-7 performances on the July 27-30, 2012 and November 23-29,2012 respectively at Pulse Asia Surveys. “You can never pin point any measure or any reason as an uptake or downfall. Ganyan talaga boss ang politika. MInsan may awareness ang tao sa iyo, minsan walang awareness ang tao sa iyo”. “Dahil mas aggressive iyong iba sa kanilang TV advocacy, mas magaganda ang kanilang media plan, nakikilala sila ngayon so mas nagiging top of line iyong kanilang mga pangalan,” he stressed. He said he was not bothered about the declines of his rating. “I never expected to be this high anyway. Nag-uumpisa po tayo sa No. 8 noong December 2011 umakyat tayo after ng impeachment during (Chief Justice) Renato Corona sa No. 4. Obviously, may name recall pa noong panahon na iyon dahil tatay ko iyong presiding officer. Siguro akyat-baba iyan”.
He explained that his Numbers 4 to 7 popularity rating in December was a Goldilocks’ area.
 “Kasi sa nakikita po natin pag masyadong ka namang mataas binabatikos ka naman. Kung masyado ka namang mababa mukhang kinakabahan ka. kumportable tayo kung saan tayo boss, happy naman tayo”. 

CYNTHIA VILLAR

 A helicopter borne Villar ranked 8-9 in the latest SWS’s poll) told me recently in a one-on-one interview at the swanky Consuelo’s Restaurant in Lingayen that The Villar Foundation has started training residents of several towns in Pangasinan for their livelihood projects.
She said residents of Santa Barbara, Malasiqui, Calasiao, and San Fabian are being trained to make water lily stalks into basket and furniture. She gives sacks of organic fertilizer too to farmers in Pangasinan.
 “ Santa Barbara, Malasiqui, and Calasiao have common river with water lilies. We will train them to make water lilies into basket, furniture, to remove the water lily in the river because it could be the source of the flooding there,” Villar, who was the crowning guest in a coronation night of the fiesta queen in capital town Lingayen told me.

 LOREN LEGARDA

 When I asked Senator Legarda (No. 1 in the latest SWS’s survey) two weeks ago in the town of Mangaldan how can she solves the world class notorious prohibited price of electricity in the country. This was thus her answer:
 “Ah, focus on renewable energy, ang ating pagamit ng hydro (electric plant) dahil mayaman tayo sa tubig”. “But during summer and dry season hydro electric plants are inutile?” I posed to her.
“Well, solar (power) ay nandiyan.’ She answered.
When I asked her about her stance on possibility of nuclear power plants in the Philippines since it is a vogue among progressive and developed countries, she retorted: “I think I have to think of it”.
 “NEDA (National Economic Development Authority) proposes that coal as source of energy will buttress our deficiency in power," I quipped.
 “Coal nakakadumi ng hangin pero at the same time maraming coal dahil ito ay kailangan”.
She explained that she did not like coal as much as possible but it is inevitable based on the country’s need on the sources of power.

So dear readers those were your senatorial bets. I'll be writing more about their rivals here in my column.
(You can read my selected columns at http://mortzortigoza.blogspot.com and articles at Pangasinan News Aro. You can send comments too attotomortz@yahoo.com)

Roach ill-equipped defense plan blames on Pacquiao's Loss

By Mortz C. Ortigoza

Manny Pacquiao's trainer Freddie Roach was to be blamed why Manny Pacquiao was knocked down in the 3rd Round and Knocked out cold faced down on the canvas by Juan Manuel Marquez when they fought for their quadrilogy at MGM Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada in December 9,  2012.

Consummate boxing trainer Floyd Mayweather, Sr has been right all the way when he kept mocking Roach how he  trained Pacquiao. He said Freddie did not teach Manny some defenses.
Because of it Manny has paid for its consequences when he bumped on  a solid "God knows how powerful it was" right straight punch of Marquez whose impacted was aided by the forced of his torso and left leg.

I said here: "Roach has lost on his five recent marquee bouts where all of his defense ill-equipped wards have been defeated. Lamont Peterson defeated Roach’s ward Amir Khan, Danny Garcia knocked-out Khan, Tim Bradley defeated Pacquiao, Sergio Martinez defeated Roach's ward Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr., and Marquez “hit with a sledge hammer “ Pacquiao." In Manny's multi-million of U.S dollars outing with Marquez late next year, Roach should not only spruce up the defense of his ward but conditioned him to the helm that he can absorbed power punches everytime he is being hit. Remember Oscar dela Hoya biting by pushing up and down a rope that carries iron weights to buttress his chin and jaw?

Taga-M'lang sings "Just Once"

U.S Election 101

By Gabriel Ortigoza, Ph.D

 United States' presidential election happens every four years. Americans vote by mail or by personally going to the precints. This year's election is scheduled on Tuesday, November 6, 2012.
There are six candidates vying for presidency. The most famous candidates are the incumbent president Barrack Obama of the Democratic Party and Mitt Romney of the Republican Party. Please go with me as I navigate you through the process of electing a U. S. president. It starts with registerered voters casting their votes.
Any candidate who gets majority of votes wins the election in that state. However, U.S. election is not as simple as popularity contest where a candidate who get majority of the votes is the sure winner. U.S. presidential election is a little bit more complicated than popularity contest.
 There are 50 states in the U.S. and each state is assigned electoral votes. There are a total of 538 electoral votes. These electoral votes are combination of the total number of congressional representatives of each state plus two U.S. senators coming from that state plus three electoral votes from Washington D.C. There are a total of 100 U.S. senators.
The magic number to win the election is 270. U.S. territories like Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, Guam and Mariana Islands are not included in the presidential election.
However, U. S. citizen around the world and those servicemen deployed overseas and in the space can send their votes via mail or e-mail. Let me give you an example. California, my home state, has 53 congressional districts represented by a congressman per district and has two U.S. senators. Based on that number we have to add the total numbers of congressmen and the U.S. senators from that state to get the number of electors.
California therefore has 55 electoral votes which is the highest number of votes among all states in the U.S. California has 38 million population. One million of which are Filipino-Americans. Texas, the largest state in terms of land area, has 39 electoral votes.
 Winning 26 out of 50 states is not a guarrantee to win the election. A candidate must have at least 270 electoral votes to get the most envied post on earth. Whoever wins the presidential election shall be sworn in on January 20th the following year. Good luck to all and God bless America. (gabbyortig@yahoo.com)